When women have children, we experience a love like we have never known. We become so infatuated with our children and are so determined to be good mom's that we forget about everything else. The first thing to go is our personal hygiene. All of a sudden, it is nothing to go a day without bathing. We wear the same pajamas all day every day, and the ugly pajamas too. We are covered in spit up and we love every minute of it. Before, we have children we are pulled together, we smell good, we have our hair done, and makeup done. Let's not even talk about our sex life. It becomes a nonexistent memory. We are always too worn out to even think about having sex. Pretty thongs and boy shorts have been replaced by granny panties and nursing bras. Our pillow talk is about what new thing the baby learned to do today and how many times they pooped.
We forget about our husband, our lover, our soul mate that we created this precious life with. Speaking from experience, when I had my first child, my son became my whole world. I so desperately wanted to be a good mom. I didn't go anywhere without my baby. When my husband and I would have date nights, my baby went with us. My husband became a fixture in our relationship, but my baby, he was my everything. I knew that he depended on me for everything that he needed, and I in no way wanted to disappoint him. I never once thought about disappointing my husband. I just always thought he understood how I felt, even though I didn't show it.
When I watched Kourtney with Scott, she didn't want Scott to go out with his friends and she didn't want to leave her babies to go and party with them either. As mothers, how dare we go out and have a little fun when we have children at home needing our care? The guilt is almost more than we can bear. When Kourtney finally went to meet Scott's friends, it was when they took Mason out for ice cream. Men don't give birth to children, so while they love their children, and will do anything for them, they don't have that deep emotional connection that women have. It is easy for men to continue with their day-to-day living and activities because they don't feel the self-inflicted guilt that women do. In fact, men need to have interaction with the outside world because at home, it is all about the baby. Men need a release, and while they would like to do so with their wife, they are more than okay if they are just hanging with the guys.
After my second child was born I realized that as a mother one of the best things that I can do for my children is nurture the relationship that helped to create them. We have to take time for our spouses, our lovers, and our soulmates. We must put effort into looking great for our love, letting them know that they too are a priority in our lives. You must spend some one on one time with our spouse, and not just in the bedroom. We leave our children when it is time to go back to work because we know we must stay employed to feed them. The same can be said for our relationships. We must leave our children with a sitter sometimes to reconnect with our spouse, to make sure that the homefront stays happy and at peace. Our children need to see what a loving relationship looks like. They need to see a mom that is in balance.
